You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
