At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
