He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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