in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
