he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
