Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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