I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
