the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
