Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
