Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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