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• (727): View more from Florida

  He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.

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• (650): View more from California

  i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!

  (408): View more from California

  Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...

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• (416): View more from Ontario

  The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  So?

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  This is why you shouldn't make decisions

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  he seriously made his penis a facebook.

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.

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• (775): View more from Nevada

  I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.

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• (817): View more from Texas

  One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.

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