before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
