I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
