in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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