i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
