According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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