Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
i black out too much to be "responsible"
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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