i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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