and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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