I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
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