I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Randomize
