Nicole vs. Life
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
