i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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