I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Randomize
