May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
