The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
