I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
