honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
