I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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