that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
