I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Randomize
