Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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