Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
