He kissed a someone with a penis
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
