I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
