Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I'm too high and old for this...
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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