So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
