somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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