We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
