I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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