I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Are we still banned from the library?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
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