if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
