My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
