Your tits are I can't wait for
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
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