So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
