one might say we're banned from that church
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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