Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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