Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
