Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
