So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
