i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
