That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
